Decluttering Who I’m Not
I have found myself writing as I declutter. I’m not writing this blog to attract more people to my website. I’m not writing for SEO. I’m not writing because I adore writing. I’m writing for one reason only: because God told me to. And for years, I ignored Him.
So now I’m practicing.
My writing isn’t perfect—and I’m okay with that. Marketing gurus may say I’m doing everything wrong. I don’t care. Somewhere deep inside me—or maybe at the intersection between God and me—there are things He wants to pull out. Things that might help someone else. Things that might help me.
I don’t have a master plan. I just have a keyboard, a little courage, and a hope that if I’m faithful, something good will unfold—for someone out there, and for me too.
Maybe no one will ever read this. Maybe that doesn’t matter. That’s the adventure.
So bear with me while I’m honest and raw.
Where the Decluttering Really Began
About ten years ago, my life blew up. I went through a divorce after 18 years of marriage. If you’ve been married, and you have kids, you know how devastating that is. Everything you hoped and dreamed for your family suddenly feels dead.
You grieve.
You envy the people who figured it out.
You keep going even though you want to crawl into a hole.
You feel hopeless, lost, confused—like somehow you’re sliding backward.
Amid all that pain is an invitation.
An invitation to slow down.
To get support.
To look at who you are, the decisions you’ve made, what you can learn, and how you can grow.
But in the beginning, you can’t see any of that. You only see pain—unending, overwhelming pain. Especially if the marriage was full of pain long before it ended.
This is where my decluttering journey truly began.
Ironically, it was the same year I started my business. Most people wouldn’t recommend starting a company during a divorce, but for me the timing was strangely perfect—divinely orchestrated.
While I was learning the organizing business, I was also thrown into the healing business.
Did I need another therapist? A support group? Medication? To run away? (Honestly, that one sounded great, but it wouldn’t have helped in the long run.)
Learning to Think Differently
I don’t know if I’ve always been this way, but lately I’ve found myself more open to new ideas. Actually—no, that’s not true. I was not always this way. My world used to be very black and white.
I’m wrong, you’re right.
This is the right way, that way is bad.
That rigid mindset didn’t help my marriage, and it certainly didn’t help me.
But over time, I began to shift. In exploring different philosophies, theologies, and healing methodologies (so many rabbit holes…), I began to see things in a new light. And all those rabbit holes led me to a few simple conclusions:
- I am here for a reason.
- Fulfilling that purpose requires growth and change—it’s a journey, not a destination.
- I already have everything I need. I don’t have to strive, chase, or “find myself.” I’m already here. I’m already enough.
You might be thinking, Gurl… you promised me decluttering and now you’re off in the cosmos.
I know. It’s a long build-up. Hopefully a somewhat entertaining one.
Decluttering Who I’m Not
If I already have everything I need inside me, then my job isn’t to become someone else—it’s to let go of everything that is NOT me.
That is a radical change from striving to become who I want to be.
To declutter the things I’ve picked up along life’s bumpy road that weigh me down:
• trapped emotions
• lies I believe about myself
• fear-based patterns
• mental constructs built to keep me “safe” but actually keep me stuck
Just like in organizing, life requires letting go. And just like in organizing, letting go is rarely simple or quick. But it’s so worthwhile.
Isn’t it interesting that what I do in people’s homes is exactly what I needed to do in my soul? God’s got a sense of humor.
For most of my life, I believed I wasn’t good enough. I thought I had to work harder, try harder, strive, strive, strive. It was exhausting.
Self-help books, Bible studies, retreats, speakers—they all offered steps to crawl out of my hole and “become” who I wanted to be. Everywhere I turned, someone was telling me how to achieve my goals and dreams.
So I chased.
And I got really, really busy.
We don’t want to stay stuck in pain. We want to grow. But sometimes we chase growth the way we chase clutter: adding more, doing more, forcing more.
The Shift: Realizing I Already Had Enough
Everything changes when you realize:
You are already enough. Right now. As you are.
I now believe I have everything I need inside me.
When the barriers are removed—the fear, the shame, the false stories—you naturally become the person you want to be. The true you is what’s left. You don’t have to manufacture love, patience, or worthiness.
You simply are those things when the junk is removed.
The path to that place is simple, but not easy:
release
surrender
decluttering
forgiving
letting go
There is no shortcut.
You must go through.
But on the other side?
Peace.
Beauty.
Joy.
Happiness.
Love.
Fulfillment.
Excitement.
Awe.
It was all there the whole time.
It’s who we are.
We just had some blockers.
A Beautiful Time to Heal
Thankfully, we’re living in a time where there are countless gifted, loving people offering tools and methodologies to help us heal. It truly is a unique moment in history.
And for me, this is the real decluttering:
not the closets, not the kitchens—
but the soul.
While I help others with this journey, I’m on it as well. It is not a destination; I have not “arrived” – even when my perfectionist self wants it to be that way. I am able to support my clients with tools I have practiced and wisdom I have gained. What a privilege.
Letting go of everything I’m not so I can finally make space for who I truly am.
