No Anxiety Back to School Tips
It’s that time of year when stores have flashy “Back to School” signs with big arrows leading you to the freshly minted school supplies. Schools start sending paperwork and forms to fill out for the upcoming school year, and even a few leaves are starting to change color amidst the 80-degree days. For many parents it’s a bittersweet time. They’ve enjoyed having more time to spend with their children and living at a slower pace, but alas, the school bells call and there is knowledge to be gained! It’s time for parents to start changing gears and prepare for the fall. There’s so much to do! So, first, take a deep breath. Good. Now repeat after me: “I can get everything done at a reasonable pace and we’ll have the best fall ever!” (Rinse and repeat as often as needed to stay sane.) Follow these 6 guidelines to decrease your stress levels and get organized for back-to-school season: 1. Focus on the positive. It’s important to start with your mindset. The school season will be more fun and pleasant if you help set the tone. Kids love summer. Many of us do. It reminds us of our carefree childhood days in warm weather. We’re barbecuing with neighbors, playing at the beach, and there’s no shortage of outdoor fun to be had. But, things are going to change. A mother’s mood is the thermostat of the household. She affects all household members—even the dog. Start the transition process with a positive attitude, and you will have a happier home. You can harness your ability to influence the home and use it for good! Start talking about the exciting things coming in the fall. Intentionally talk about the fun activities they’ll be doing. They may not be “signed up” for anything, but there’s always something to look forward to (brightly colored trees, a trip to the apple orchard, late night bonfires). According to a recent article about positive thinking, “Segerstrom and Sephton (2010) also examined whether optimism predicted positive affect. Their hypothesis that changes in optimism would predict changes in positive affect was borne out, as increases in optimism were associated with increased positive affect, and vice versa. Interestingly, changes in optimism were not related to changes in negative affect. Thus, it appears that optimism is uniquely related to positive affect.” Stay focused on the good that lies ahead as you tackle the following steps. 2. Dominate your calendar. Let me begin by saying there is no “right” way to manage your calendar. There are digital people and there are paper people. If you have a system that works for you, go with it. Quit second guessing yourself. We’re all unique and what works for some of us, may not work for others. It’s important to have a schedule and plan as best as you can to eliminate stress. Take the time to write down every single activity on your schedule. Post your family calendar in a public place or use an app to share calendars so everyone knows what’s happening. It’s helpful to color code the various activities if you have more than one child. Start a list of carpool friends and look ahead for conflicts so you can reach out ahead of time. No parent likes to be informed of tomorrow’s choir concert that you need to go out and buy a new pair of pants for, in addition to having something else scheduled that same night. 3. Coordinate Dependencies. After you feel confident in your calendar, you can determine what needs to get done. Your daughter starts soccer in two weeks, so you need to try on last year’s cleats and potentially buy new ones. Your kids have games that coincide on the same night, so you need to make sure everyone has a ride. You get the picture. There are a lot of balls in the air for parents these days. By planning ahead, you will decrease stress and make all activities more enjoyable for everyone. 4. Purchase school supplies early. Schools mail out lists ahead of time, but you can also find them online before you receive the school notice, so YOU can decide when to shop. Getting an early jump on this is another stress reducer. Busy moms have a low threshold when it comes to running to three different stores to find the required calculator the night before school starts. Because stores sell out, it’s best to get the shopping done as early as possible to make the least amount of stops. Reflect on your previous shopping experience. If you went all together as a family and it was a fun night, great. Rinse and repeat. If not, try a new strategy. Take one kid at a time and make it a “date” night with a special treat at the end. (This is a good time to throw in those positive fall thoughts again.) 5. Gently adjust sleep schedules. Many kids have been sleeping in and enjoying the lazy days of summer. Fall is typically more structured, and therefore can make for a rude awakening that first day of school when we wake up three hours earlier than we’re used to. Yikes! Help your kids gently adjust by reintroducing an earlier bedtime and having them get up earlier the week or two before. Our bodies have amazing clocks that can work for us or against us. Retrain their bodies gently by waking them up 15 minutes earlier each day. It’s kind of like giving up caffeine. If you decrease your quantity, your body doesn’t notice when it’s completely eliminated, but if you quit “cold turkey” you’re likely to have a whopper of a headache. Doing this one simple step will help you have a positive and smooth transition into fall. 6. Add cushion and grace to your schedule. As much as possible add some cushion into your schedule. Don’t overcommit money or time until you’re sure you can take it on. As activities and the school year gear
ADHD Organizing Tips
Approximately 11% of children 4-17 years of age (6.4 million) have been diagnosed with ADHD, according to parent reports from 2011-12. The number of young children (ages 2-5) with ADHD increased by more than 50% from the 2007-2008 survey (www.cdc.gov). This condition is prevalent and growing. I’m guessing, like me, you know several people affected by it. If you’re one of those dealing with ADHD it affects everything in your lifetime management, productivity, your home, your work, relationships and so on. Challenges in getting organized for the ADHDer are: 1) They have trouble with working memory which is used for temporarily holding information available for processing.2) Their brains are under-aroused so they are always seeking stimulation.3) They are linear sequential thinkers that often skip tasks. So they go from A-B-F without performing C-D-E. Therefore they miss important steps.4) They tend to be pleasure-centered thinkers which can cause them to make quick choices that are not in their long-term best interest. In ADHD, there is “now” and “not now” so they put off many tasks to “not now”.5) They have a lot of intentions and try to get the perfect system then get overwhelmed. They tend to beat themselves up 10x worse than anyone who may criticize them. Organizing tips for success: 1) When starting to organize, start with a room that is important to them or they’re most interested in to keep them engaged.2) Group all incomplete projects together so they can see the amount of things they think they’re going to get to.3) They need their organizing and maintenance to be fun in some way or they’ll avoid it. Turn the music on. Loud.4) Be there with them. Even if you’re not helping in the organizing or task at hand, just be nearby or in the room to ground them to the space and tasks to be done.5) They tend not to estimate time well. Use a timer to time tasks so they know how long it takes. If they know the dishwasher only takes 5 minutes to empty they’ll be more likely to do it next time.6) Use color wherever possible – labels, folders, bins.7) Self-care is important: Plenty of sleep, eat protein, take medication, take breaks for a fun activity after say 20 minutes.8) Have a plan B with the system. They like to mix it up or they get bored and lose interest and quit doing the system. ADHD folks (and many others) need help in processing their items. They need questions to be asked so they can accurately assess if the item has value to them. Sometimes a simple question of “keep or toss” is too much and they don’t know how to decide. Questions to ask them about their stuff that might help move them along: 1) If this were broken, would you immediately replace it? If they answer, “No I haven’t used that in a year.” Tell them that’s a pretty good indication that they can get rid of it.2) If someone offered you money for this, would you accept it?3) Did you remember having this?4) Do you remember using this in the last year? On the bright side, there are some really positive characteristics of folks with ADHD too. They are some of my favorite people! 1) Hyper-focus. An awesome thing to have if you can effectively channel all that attention and energy into work that makes a difference.2) Resilience. They adapt and push forward with new strategies.3) Ingenuity. They’ve had to overcome hurdles and think outside the box to live life functionally counter-culturally.4) Spontaneous. Sometimes acting on impulse results in wonderful things!5) High energy. This can be contagious and motivating for others to get things done. Most of the time I can relate to my client’s challenges more than see our differences. We’re all unique, we need to help each other reach our full potential.
What EXACTLY does a Professional Organizer do?
The Organizing industry is truly a hidden gem. I couldn’t believe I didn’t know the industry existed until a couple years ago. Of course, I was actively avoiding places like The Container Store. I knew if I set foot in there it would be all over. Poverty would follow. I knew I would love it and I’d go broke in 6 months. Truly. I had never been in the store until after I decided to go into this profession. And yes, I love it. In the crazy world we live in, there are endless ways to help our clients. Most folks are at full, or over, capacity trying to keep all the plates spinning with their day-to-day lives. How can they keep up? How can they learn all the processes and tricks to manage their lives more efficiently and reduce their stress? How do they know how to declutter a closet efficiently and thoroughly? Enter the organizing profession. You may have wondered how I ended up in this industry. The Business Analyst role did not entirely fit me. The analytical aspect as well as creating order was suitable. Mostly I was motivated with activities such as improving processes, streamlining and documenting procedures, and organizing online data. Then I had a conversation with a friend. We were talking about projects around the house and I was saying that I was doing some organizing and said something to the effect of, “I wish I could do this for a living! ” She said, “You can. That profession exists.” WHAT??!!!! (mind blown) And life has never been the same. During my research, I discovered there are several different national and international organizations that exist to support this industry. Who knew? One of their primary missions of these organizations is to get the word out that this industry exists and how our expertise changes lives. My research initially landed me at the NAPO (National Association of Professional Organizers) website. Here, as you can imagine, I relished every word and thought I discovered the “mother ship” for my people. Believe it or not, this is worldwide phenomenon. Other countries have national organizations as well like Canada, the UK – even if they spell it “organise”, and of course Japan (as many of us are familiar with Marie Kondo and her book about tidying – which really just means organizing.) There is an organization that supports organizers who are helping clients that are challenged with chronic disorganization. There is even an organization that seeks to unite the various national organizations worldwide called the International Federation of Professional Organizing Associations (IFPOA). Who knew, right? When I decided to become a Professional Organizer, I really didn’t understand the depth of the industry I was jumping into. My decision was based on my business-world skills, my natural bent (thanks Mom & Dad!), and life experiences of figuring stuff out while I managed my life and household. The industry thrilled me but I had to learn exactly what all is involved in helping others with their challenges. I found that there is A LOT more to this career than that meets the eye. The reach of our industry knows no bounds. It reminds me of physicians and how they have many specialties. Many organizers are generalists, but most also have specialties as well: hoarding, closet installs, garages, moves, residential, photos, ADHD/OCD, transition, time management, kitchens, eco-friendly, new moms….the list goes on and on. It’s funny that when you have an aptitude for something, you originally think that everyone must think like you do. I distinctly remember an experience of organizing with someone before I “turned pro”. I was thoroughly enjoying myself feeling pumped as I was getting more organized. I passed them in the hall and said, “Isn’t this fun?” to which they snarled, “No, it’s torture!” What? You may be thinking the same thing as you’re reading this. I get it. You don’t think organizing is fun. You hate it and find any excuse to do something different. We are all created differently. Thank goodness! When I have to do things involving say money, I look for all the distractions I can find. Squirrel! What Do Organizers Do?Some people think Organizers just put things away –like somebody’s mom (sorry I just had to). Others think we are administrative assistants, some think we plan events. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word organize as “to arrange or order things so that they can be found or used easily and quickly : to put things into a particular arrangement or order”. That just barely touches on the industry. Currently, there are two main types of Organizers: Residential & Business. Business organizing focuses on positively impacting businesses. Taking on goals such as gaining efficiencies, streamlining workflow, improving paper and electronic files, and coaching are typical offerings. Residential focuses on the home. For the purposes of this blog, we’re focusing on residential organizing. I recently read an article about getting organized that basically told people the key is, “Things need to go where they need to go.” Well yes, but this doesn’t address the challenge many have in setting up an effective system of where things go. It doesn’t address busy lifestyles, multiple people in the same space, special needs, feelings of being overwhelmed or stuck. I could go on and on. I was really saddened by this person’s lack of understanding and compassion for the challenges of getting organized and staying organized. It reminds me of my bitmoji (app where the avatar looks like you). This brings up a basic philosophy in this industry: No judgment. Compassion and understanding are the tenants on which our industry is built. Most Organizers number one goal is to help. Does a personal trainer look down on someone 20 lbs overweight who wants to get healthier? Of course not or you wouldn’t hire them. Organizing is the same way. We exist to bring about desired change, to help our clients achieve their goals, to watch the excitement as their world expands and the fog lifts.